- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 6 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
Sometimes, sub-plots or approaches to characterization just don’t go the way we want them. Witness the following excerpt from Children of the Gods. Initially, maintaining some kind of link between Sandra and Mentin seemed interesting. Then, it was less interesting and ultimately removed. But in removing things, sometimes you lose a nice little snippet of something else. Like a harsh retort to one’s significant other.
Enjoy.
With a hand on either of her shoulders, he did his best to still her but she was clearly agitated to the point of near frenzy. Whimpers came from her and a sheen of perspiration on her face indicated that whatever she was experiencing, whatever she might be dreaming, seemed very real to her.
“Sandra. Sandra! Wake up.”
“No!” she cried. “No!”
“Sandra!”
Her eyes shot open, a look of panic and rage in them. “It is here. It is here. We must stop it.”
“Stop what?”
She bolted past him and grabbed her commlock, the door opening just as she reached it. Wherever she was headed, she wasn’t wasting a moment.
Tony Cellini pushed himself off the bed and followed. “So that’s what it looks like,” he said, “from the outside.”Sandra Benes disregarded the stares of people in the corridors as she ran through in her nightgown. She spoke into her commlock as she ran, alerting Security to meet her at Medical Center.
Ed Spencer was waiting for her outside Medical with an orderly behind him. “Sandra, Sandra,” he said, catching her.
“I must speak with Commander Koenig,” she said, trying to rush past her. “It is a matter of life and death.”
“Sandra,” Tony Cellini said, finally catching up to her. His eyes moved from face to face, trying to gauge their intentions toward Benes. “Please. As you can see, she’s very upset.”
“What’s going on?” Eroca asked, now joining the assemblage. “Sandra? What’s wrong?”
“It is here. It is here for the children,” Benes said. “We must protect them.”
“What’s here?” Eroca asked.
Ed Spencer took hold of Sandra. “You mean the thing that attacked Dana Warren, don’t you?”
She nodded. “I can feel it. It’s here.”
“Do you feel it now?” Spencer asked.
She paused. “No. Not right now. But I did. It was here.”
Spencer looked to Eroca. “We never got much information about it,” he explained. “It attacked without any warning. Attacked Sandra.”
“She was asleep,” Cellini said. “Sandra, could it have been a dream?”
“You of all people,” Sandra Benes said. “You have to believe me. The children are in danger.”I was very dissapointed when I discovered that this element of the plot had been dropped. It added a creepy level of horror to Sandra’s predicament & the bitch slap she gave Cellini was so delicious. I was genuinely surprised it got cut!
That aside though, I enjoyed the book immensely. Lots of clever winks and nods in it (Victor entering Command Centre for the first time and the Children waiting there – a clever nod to the original Year 2 origins of Johnny’s script).
Looking forward to the next couple of releases now though.
“The Whispering Sea” is the one I’m most desperate to read although I have to admit to being quite intrigued by “Black Doves”.
Viva Powys Media! B)
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.